Bitter Sweet Love by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Author:Jennifer L. Armentrout
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: MIRA Ink
Published: 2013-09-03T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Ten

We ended up not leaving the city until the following afternoon and the trip south, toward the nation’s capital, was quiet. It had been that way since last night. Dez hadn’t treated me any differently. Quite the opposite. He talked, he prodded at me and tried to coax me into conversation as we left New York and crossed into New Jersey, but I was too caught up in my own thoughts.

I lay back in the seat, head tilted toward the passenger window. Buildings and houses blurred in a steady stream. A bitter taste lingered in the back of my mouth, a cocktail of guilt, shame and confusion, and no amount of drink or food would wash it away.

I kept telling myself that I had nothing to feel guilty about. I hadn’t abandoned Dez. He’d been the one to leave me and I hadn’t made him any promises, but the reassurance rang hollow.

Even my sister couldn’t truly understand why I was so resistant to the idea of mating with Dez, especially considering how much I’d cared for him. But when he left and when I finally accepted, after the many months had turned into a year, that he wasn’t coming home, I had mourned him. Grieved him as I had my mother. I could recognize the blessing of him returning, but three years of mourning was a long time to let go of and I didn’t even understand why he’d left. He claimed it had nothing to do with my father’s offer and it was obvious that he wanted me, but I needed more. Answers for one thing, and I wanted what my parents had had in their life together—love and trust.

Part of me recognized that I was still in love with Dez, that I never stopped loving him, but I didn’t believe he felt that way for me. Not in the way I needed him to, and as for trust? What’s to say that a year from now he wouldn’t just up and disappear again?

I shifted in my seat, restless.

Maybe more than our past was keeping me wary. Perhaps it had to do with me. After all, the whole mating business was serious. I’d be pledging myself to someone for my entire life. The very moment I mated, I would be thrust into adulthood, facing very adult demands. I wouldn’t be the only eighteen-year-old to do so, but it was a lot to even think about. Maybe I wasn’t ready and my excuses were really just that—excuses. A crutch.

We’d crossed into Pennsylvania hours ago and as the SUV eased into an exit lane for a town called West Chester, I straightened in my seat and glanced at Dez. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

And that was all he said as we drove through the town and then beyond, onto a narrow winding road that was crowded by thick trees. He turned onto a road I hadn’t noticed. About five minutes later, he parked along the shoulder. Dust filled the air as we climbed out.

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